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The End is Where We Start


Goodbye 2019. Don’t let the door hit your bum on the way out.

I learned a lot last year. I learned that eating a hot dog and a glass of milk isn’t a good idea just before you come down with stomach flu. That cheap butter contains more water which will affect your baking. That I shouldn’t smell the suspicious-looking stain in the carpet. I’ve also decided to give up the notion that I still fit into size medium underpants.


Rather than making new resolutions, I’m sticking with who I am and how I do things. I’ve had 66 years of practise so if I don’t have it right by now I probably never will.


I intend to continue to: remain cynical, eat chocolate in bed while binging on Netflix, go shopping without a bra on as long as I’m wearing a heavy coat so that you can’t tell, take a walk every day or at least consider it.


I’m big on acceptance right now, too. Accepting what can’t be changed, accepting what does change, accepting me because I’m never going to change. So, no more complaining. I will, however, continue to yell at people that litter, object to Daylight Savings Time (so stupid, really dumb idea), and be annoyed by how much hairspray the anchorwoman that does the news is wearing because, seriously, her hair never moves.


I will keep on increasing my recycling and composting, decreasing my carbon footprint, trying to stay one step ahead of the stock market (ha ha, good one, Linda) and eat at least three vegetables a day.


So, let’s toast a new decade that the media is already comparing to the Roaring Twenties of the 1900’s. If they work hard enough, they’ll have us convinced that we are entering a depression and we’re all going to starve to death. There’s this weird thing called self-fulfilling prophecy. I’m not falling for the hype.


I wish each and every one of you a happy and prosperous 2020. The Irish have the best sayings when it comes to wishing luck for you. Like this one: “Always remember to forget the troubles that passed away. But never forget to remember the blessings that come each day.” And my personal favourite: “As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point in the wrong direction.


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