Updated: Sep 28
The older you become the more you realize that your life can change in an instant. Good or bad, we are in a constant state of flux. It took me a long time to realize that and not be surprised or dismayed when a drastic change took place. This realization was tested to the max this past winter when my Dad passed away from complications of Covid and my Mom came to live with me and That Man of Mine (AKA MOM as opposed to Mom).
The grieving process has been quite a journey. I have lost people I love and it was very sad. However, I was lucky enough to have both my parents live until I was well into my 60’s. I once heard a Minister at a funeral say that when someone you love lives a very long time it’s almost like they might live forever. When they die it is a shock. My Dad’s death took my breath away. For a couple of months I struggled with health issues and poor sleep and a complete lack of energy and interest in anything. Then I spoke to a doctor. It took him all of one minute of conversation for him to diagnose it as depression. I felt kind of stupid when he said it because as a person that has lived with depression for most of my life, you’d think I’d have known. I can be a real jerk to myself sometimes.
My Mom is grieving for her husband of 68 years. They met in high school, married in their early 20’s and had four children. Mom also had Covid but survived. Quite a feat for a 90 year old with a heart condition. I am unable to imagine the depth of her loss. She is very strong and takes most things in stride. Her attitude towards life is a practical one. She knows that if Dad had lived he would have been permanently on a ventilator, bed-ridden and living in long-term care. He would have hated it and would not want to have been in that state for the remainder of his life. She has accepted that but it must be like a huge chunk has been ripped out of her psyche. I admire her every day. Not having lived with her for many years, I had forgotten just how tough she can be when life gets rough. She is so brave and I love having her with me. She's also a really good cook and enjoys doing it. Here's a photo of her with her very successful Yorkshire Pudding.
Am I the only person that likes wearing a mask in public? Not because I’m a germaphobe, although I do wash my hands constantly and really hate that when my dog sits down his bum is touching something I might sit on later. No, it’s pure vanity that has me loving the mask. I rarely wear makeup anymore. Sometimes mascara because there is my rabbit-eyes issue as mentioned in a previous post. But, no lipstick, blush, foundation, it doesn’t matter if I have a pimple that could substitute for a headlight and I could have a stealth booger hanging out of my nose that I am unaware of. No one will ever see it.
How often have you wished you could go back in time just a couple of minutes and take back something idiotic you have just said? Pretty much every day for me but I recently asked a woman if she was expecting a baby and SHE WASN’T! I am still not over how hurtful that must have been for her. She wasn’t heavy but had a tummy and was wearing a loose shirt. She told me she was too old to have a baby. I couldn’t tell that with her mask on. Even after she said it I wouldn’t have pegged her at anything over 40 years. I apologized profusely and slunk away but it was difficult walking with my foot in my mouth. And since she works at our local pharmacy and I am there, frequently, picking up Mom’s prescriptions I am going to have to face her again. Maybe I'll wear a disguise. Like this guy.
My sister and brother-in-law recently moved 3000 miles away to be with their children all three of whom had decided they wanted to live in beautiful B.C. The whole family misses them but I have booked a flight for me and Mom to visit in a month. I will be leaving Mom there to stay with them for a little while. The winters where they are living are not as harsh as ours and she will get to spend quality time with her newest great grandchild and her own baby as my sister is the youngest in the family and she and Mom are veryveryclose. They miss each other.
The leaves are changing colour and daylight is much shorter now. I am already craving comfort food and have gained a couple of pounds so I decided I need to exercise more but have not yet decided when said exercising will begin. I’ve heard that you can do yoga in bed. Hey, it’s a start!